Love Makes Fools of us All
by Urimizo
Summary: Jamie feels the constricting binds of maturity as she risks life and self-respect for a gift to win her what she has longed for.


"$17.75..."

"$17.80..."

"$17.85..."

"$17...86? Are you kidding me!" Jamie growled, counting out the money in her hand. She stuffed the bills and coins spitefully into her pocket, huffing out a sigh. "Only $3 short..." This was the most amount of money Jamie ever had at one time that she didn't just spend on junk food and it was burning a hole in her pocket. She was saving it up for something a bit different this time. Something special.

"Hey, Jamie!" Came a roar to her right. Her T-Rex friend, Tina stomped up towards the tiny ox girl. "Ms. Simian's got me in detention for skipping the algebra test yesterday, what a crab...could ya do a girl a favor and write Ms. Simian a note saying I got a doctor's appointment? You're always good at forging fake notes."

"Yeah yeah, sure sure." Jamie said hastily, counting out the money again. Maybe there was a bill she had not seen? No, it was all there, maybe a quarter she mistook for a nickel?

"Hey, Jamie! Are you listening?" The dinosaur roared, poking the tiny gal with her claw. She snapped back into focus quickly.

"Wha-what? Yeah yeah, Tina. Sure, I got it." She said, acting like she understood.

"Cool. Are we still up for egging Mr. Brown's house later on? I found a couple cartons of eggs in the dump that have just been sitting there for weeks and they smell awful. And I thought 'Why let them go to waste!'" The T-Rex added in with a laugh.

"Sorry, Tina. I got something to do after school today and-"

"Aw, come on, Jamie! You've blown me off every day for the past week now. What's up with you?" The small girl faced her friend.

"I've uhh, been busy. Got stuff I gotta do, you know? Important stuff." Not wanting to drag the conversation on any longer, Jamie booked it down the opposite end of the hallway. "I'll catch ya later, Tina!" She called. As soon as she was sure she wasn't being followed, she pulled out a folded piece of paper out of the pocket in her tights. It was a flier from a local sports shop that was advertising their going out of business sale. Jamie wasn't concerned about the business itself, more about what she had spotted in the store a week earlier...

It was as regular a Friday as Jamie could make in Elmore. She was on her way home from skipping another detention for something she got caught doing because another student decided to tattle on her. "I swear, the next time I see that radio-headed mutant I'm gonna yank the tape out of all of his cassettes!" She said to herself. She wasn't rather fond of any of the students in her class, or anyone in general would be a better statement. After she got held back a year, all her friends either deserted her or moved on, leaving her to keep the students and faculty of Elmore Junior High fear-stricken and lunch money-less. Though she did find a few supporters, there were still those who annoyed her beyond words she was unable to think of.

Juke was a weirdo who only spoke in that stupid foreign language of his, never really put any effort into speaking properly, leaving Jamie to wonder how he even got into Elmore Junior High in the first place. There was Bobert, that anti-social robot no one seemed to want to go near, and who could blame them? He was probably one loose nut from going into combat-mode and blowing up the entire school. (Jamie made a mental note to try that out later.) Teri was a health-nut and her biggest enemy was a bucket of water or a pair of scissors, both of which the ox girl took great pleasure in reminding her of. William was just a flying security camera for Ms. Simian, telling the old baboon every little thing Jamie did that was considered "inappropriate" during class. It was worth the weeks detention for gluing his eye shut, totally worth it.

Gumball was just some dweeb who caused more harm to himself than she ever could do, making her job even more easier. Darwin, who was Gumball's pet fish brother? She didn't pay to much attention to him due to the fact that him and Gumball would usually be caught in the same antics together. Penny was another one of those peppy gals that just inadvertently irritated her to no end, along with the rest of the cheerleading squad for that matter. Why would they make a giant pyramid if it wasn't meant to be knocked over? Whatever; there was Idaho, Ocho, Leslie, who Jamie couldn't tell whether they were a girl or boy half the time.

There was Hector the giant, who Jamie had, on more than one occasion, almost been flattened by him. It was a good thing she kept her horns in such well condition. She smiled as she felt the sharpened tips of one of them that jutted out of her shaggy orange hair. No one dared pick a fight with her. What she lacked in height and reach she made up for with cunning and fighting prowess. Jamie wasn't smart school-wise, but she was a good brawler, and was usually the first to show just how good she was.

Going back to the roster, there was Alan, Carmen, Clayton...all people she detested or never got along well with. Tina was her friend and partner in bullying. The two got along well and they kept each other from being caught. Jamie was usually the one who came up with their plans while Tina was the muscle and brute force that made sure no one got in their way. They worked well together, but while Tina did her job as her friend, she was unable to fill the role of something Jamie had been slowly wanting more and more:

She wanted a boyfriend.

Jamie never made it apparent, but recently she started to feel this attraction toward one of the students at Elmore Junior High. At first, she thought she had come down with something. She had never felt what she was feeling before in her life. It disgusted her when she brought it up with the school counselor, Mr. Small, and he put the idea forth. It took all of herself from trashing the entire room and storming off, but she was confused, which quickly turned to anger. Why was she feeling things now? Of all the times her hormones decided to flare up, they did it in the prime of her bullying career. She couldn't steal lunch money if she was all googly-eyed and drooling over someone. The thought sickened her, but the feeling lingered, and now it clung to her like a heavy chain was coiled around her body. And for a girl her size, it felt even heavier.

It was always in school that she would see him, either in between classes or right before lunch she would find herself approaching this boy and doing her same routine. She would hold out her hand, give him an acknowledging smile, and he'd place his money into her palm. No questions, no words, no trouble. But every time she did it now, she found she loathed herself a bit more. It didn't make any sense, nothing had changed, everything was as it should be, except for her. Was this a part of growing up? Having to feel things you didn't want to feel?

For Pete's sake, he's a piece of toast!

"Dang it, Anton!" Jamie spat, picking up a rock and launching it over a hilltop, out of sight. "What's there to like about you? You're weak, you've got no backbone. You can't even stand up to a girl!..." She lingered on her last words. She couldn't blame the cooked piece of bread. He was small, even compared to her. Anything higher than two feet was a threat to him; birds would swoop down from the sky and peck at him any chance they could get. At first it was hilarious seeing the birds swoop down like planes and attack, but then she found herself grabbing one by the beak and sending it back up in the air with one punch, leaving it hungry and sporting a nice black eye to boot. She had no idea why she did, but it felt right. Maybe it was because she understood what he was going through, being so short and all? The answer alluded her, and that's what angered her the most.

Regardless of how she treated him, he would always sit next to her at lunch, minding his own. The two never engaged in idle chat, it was always her and Tina. Sometimes Jamie would just go on a long-winded rant on someone she despised, or one of the teachers she was gonna prank on. Anton always listened intently, catching every word she said. He never tattled, whether out of respect or fear of Jamie's wrath was anyone's guess, but he kept quiet, which was something Jamie came to like about him.

It was at this point Jamie realized she used that word again, "like." It was this word the reason she was going through all this trouble of actually BUYING a GIFT. She dared not tell anyone else it would make her look like she wasn't as tough as she made herself out as. Dragging her boots behind her as she walked down the street, her eyes darted across the piece of paper she was reading.

"Rugged Flint's 'Going-out-of-business-sale' going on! This week only! Everything must go, because it has to go!" Were the words sprawled out in bold, red lettering with the picture of a deeply saddened old man with a lump of coal on his head. She never knew the man so she had no time for his misery, what she was interested in was the hockey helmet sitting in the corner of the flier. "Only $20! Please take this off our hands!" Was how it was advertised. What Jamie knew of hockey made her know that that helmet guaranteed protection from many blows. She couldn't wear it herself, but she knew a certain boy who could.

She needed that helmet.

Jamie growled as she pulled the wad of bills and change out of her pocket. She was only $3 short of her goal of buying that helmet, and today was the last day the store was going to be open. Jamie stomped on the sidewalk in frustration, it was bad enough she went through the trouble to save up all of this money, she didn't want it all for nothing. She just needed one last bit of luck, just one was all she wanted.

"If only my hands weren't so stubby, I might be able to con some off of some poor sap." She said to herself, though she didn't take what she said seriously. She was a bully, but there was no way she was risking going to jail.

At least not yet anyway.

"Hey! Whoever's out there, just gimme this one thing, please?" She called out, making sure no one was around to hear her pleading and talking to no one. "I've never asked for much," Okay, that was a lie. "I only want this ONE thing and then that's it. I'd eat my tights if you wanted me to." Another lie, but she felt she made her point to whatever ancestral being she hoped was watching over her. As if expecting a beam of light to shine down from the heavens, she opened her eyes and stood up to find no such occurrence happened, much to her dismay. "Figures, the one time I'm doing something for someone else, life decides to throw a stick into my spokes." The ox-girl mumbled bitterly. She was almost at the store, but now she felt as if she shouldn't even bother with the embarrassment.

Her eyes pulled her away from sidewalk as something unusual caught her attention. There was something that seemed off about something a few feet ahead of her on the sidewalk. From where she stood whatever she saw was green and rectangular, giving Jamie just enough lift to dash forward and inspect her newly found prize. If it wasn't for the fly that buzzed in front of her face, her jaw would've remained agape. She grabbed the $5 bill at her feet and held it up high, making sure what she was seeing was real, it was. Her grin couldn't have been wider as she felt a sense of renewal, luck was going her way today it seems.

As if life decided to pour a big bucket of irony over Jamie, a crow idling on a nearby light post caught the girl picking up the bill and swooped down, snatching the money right out of her hand and flying away. It took a moment for Jamie to realize what happened as she saw the bird fly away. She wasn't going to let that happen, now that she was so close.

"Don't you even dare, you flying rat!" She bellowed, picking up the largest stone she could find within reach and chucking it at the raven as hard as she could. The rock didn't hit it's intended target, but it spooked the bird enough to where it released the bill from its beak and flew off. Jamie was thankful she was such a good shot with rocks. However, as soon as the bird took off, the wind seemed to pick up and carry the dollar bill aloft with it. "No, no no no!"

The bill proceeded to fly off down an embankment which lead into a highway. "Come on you piece of crud!" She called out, making a jump for it before the wind seemed to detect her attempt and pick the bill up higher into the air. Jamie was unable to recover and began to roll down the hill towards the road, kicking up a cloud of dust in her effort to slow herself down before she became roadkill. Finally near the bottom she was able to pick herself up and recover her bearings, looking around frantically for the lost money. "Come on come on, where are you...? Aha!" She spotted the note carrying itself through the air and coming to rest gently on the ground. On the opposite end of the road. "Whoever's out there must have something out for me..."

Jamie wouldn't admit it, but she had an ever-worrying fear of traffic. She could cross one-lane roads no problem, but this was a highway, and from Jamie's perspective all that was in front of her was a four-laned sea of speeding vehicles and asphalt. Tempting fate, she stuck out a foot and almost as she did, a truck came barreling down the road and almost ran over it, causing Jamie to jump back a ways. "Come on, Jamie! You ain't afraid of a few cars!" It was an obvious attempt at motivation, but Jamie wasn't going to let anything stop her from her goal. Nothing had before, and she will see to it nothing will now. The thought of being run over didn't sit too well with her stomach, she just needed to focus and she would make it out alive.

She waited for a slow in the flow of cars as she made a break for the center median. Cars, trucks, station wagons, all made there way down the highway at seemingly breakneck speeds as the ox-girl forced her tiny legs to run faster than they ever had to. She didn't stop until she touched the small divider that cut the highway in half, dropping to her knees and catching her breath. It was a much longer distance than for a person of regular height, another reason she was hating herself right now.

"Alright, girl. Just a bit more to go..." She paused again as she waited for a clearing, then sprinted over to where the $5 bill laid there, as if waiting for her to pick it up. Jamie caught herself laughing as she pocketed the note, relieved that she had made it all the across _a highway_ with not even a scratch on her! Her nervousness began to be replaced with a surge of confidence, turning back towards the road she raised her head up high and laughed. "You don't scare me, you stupid piles of scrap! Not anymo-!"

The sound of screeching rubber cut her off as she saw a rather large vehicle in the corner of her eye come right at her. She yelped and made a break towards the median again, hoping to return to safety with all of her limbs intact, but her legs didn't stop. Out of sudden fear or the surge of adrenaline, she ignored the safety zone of the median and made a beeline for the embankment. She was almost there! She could almost feel the comfort of the grass underneath her feet before she heard the familiar sound of tires squealing behind her. Unfortunately, Jamie felt the front end of the bumper before she was able to jump out the way. The impact sent her flying into the air, up the embankment, over the hill, past the fairway, and through a fence before she ended up landing in an alleyway, with a pile of trash comforting her fall.

Dazed and bruised, it took a while for Jamie to collect herself and stand up straight. She was in no mood to complain, not knowing where she was or what the heck just happened for that matter. "At least the headache and dislocated shoulder mean I'm still alive..." Jamie muttered, holding her head up. She cracked her neck and pulled her shoulder back into place before taking a few steps out of the alley and looking around. Her luck had just about ran out when she grabbed that $5 bill, being hit by a car and sent hurtling into the air for who knows how long and where. She was beginning to wonder if that money was cursed and she was paying for it. "Don't be stupid, curses don't exist. I'm just having an off day. A VERY off day..."

After shaking the few remaining spots in front of her eyes gone, Jamie raised a hand to her face to shield herself from the sun which cast its warm, orange and red beams over the city. It was getting late, and the store Jamie had nearly risked her life to get to was going to close soon and without a watch or clock nearby, Jamie had no idea if she was going to make it in time. She walked up to the wall of the closest store and slammed her fist on it.

"Stupid cars, stupid possessed $5 bills, stupid helmet! STUPID-!" Her roaring ceased as she looked up at the store she was beating on. The store sign hung up above the wooden door displayed the name, "Rugged Flint's Sports Emporium!" Underneath the red lettered sign was a little banner that read, "Going-out-of-business-sale!" Jamie wasn't waiting to see if this was for real or just a side-effect from her possible concussion, she was to worn out and tired to care. She threw open the door and entered the store.

Rows upon rows of shelves donned with sportswear and memorabilia combined with years of dust and cobwebs created a feel of an antiquated business. Splotches of dust and dirt covered the windows making it difficult to see out of them. What little sunlight protruded these veils cast eerie lines of color into the store, highlighting the small particles of dust that floated and hung in the air. Obviously many had lost interest in the business overtime since its introduction into Elmore almost 30 years ago and now it was forced to close down, but Jamie wasn't one for history. The tiny gal looked around for that hockey helmet she had basically risked life and limb for, she was sure to have it.

Walking up to the wooden counter, she jumped up to see if there was someone she could talk/demand for the helmet she saw mentioned in the flier. Luckily, there was an elderly looking man sitting in a rocking chair, seemingly idly passing time snoozing. His graying hair just barely covered his large, stone head, black just as his name implied; it was Rugged Flint. Jamie would have none of this, she came with a purpose and would not be delayed any longer.

"Hey, old geezer, wake up!" She called from atop the store counter. The man jerked up suddenly and his gaze widened.

"Heh? Whosiwhatsit?" He yelled almost tipping over backwards in his chair. The man's voice seemed to creak out of his lungs, coming out as a high pitched wail. As if you were to blow into a very dry instrument. He settled back into position and looked around cautiously. "He...hello?" His vision seemed to be failing him in the murky atmosphere.

"Yo, over here!" Jamie yelled again, hoping he would notice her by now. "I wanna buy this hockey helmet you got!" Rugged Flint poised himself up and steadied his head before walking over to the counter and squinting his eyes at the girl.

"Ehh? Oh my, wasn't expecting another customer. Excuse the mess; been having trouble packing up everything by myself." Jamie didn't want to be in there longer than she had to be, it was almost closing time and she was on a schedule.

"Yeah yeah, do you have this helmet in the flier?" She said, shoving the paper in front of the elder's face. Flint pulled at the beard on his chin and took out his reading glasses from his pocket to further inspect the poster.

"Hrmmm, helmet, helmet, helmet..."

"Come on! You know? Hockey helmet? You were selling it for like $20! Remember!" Jamie barked, getting more impatient by the minute. The old man seemed undeterred from her manner and was still looking at the paper before seeming to snap his fingers (which to Jamie just looked like he rubbed his middle finger and thumb together) and brought over a catalog of the store's wares. Shuffling through page after dusty page, Flint finally placed a finger on a particular and his eyes beamed.

"Ah, yes! A Philip 'Doberman' Doner hockey helmet! Lots of history behind this piece of sportswear. In fact, in one game, Doner was said to have-." Jamie grabbed the man by the scruff of his collar and pushed her face to his.

"Listen, old timer! I don't care what you have to say, just tell me if you've got this helmet before I take your dentures and have them clamp down on your butt!"

"Ah! Here we are!" The man said, staring back down at the book and confusing Jamie as to whether he was ignoring her or just didn't even notice her threat. He mumbled something she couldn't recognize and listened in as he continued. "One Philip 'Doberman' Doner, oh...I'm sorry little girl. Seems I just sold that helmet earlier today...

Jamie felt her stomach churn and she had the sudden urge to throw up. She pulled her face away from the old man's for fear she might actually do so. What was this? She had failed to do certain tasks before; chores, tests, she was used to it. However this time, it was so much worse. Why? Her eyes were destitute, corpse-like as she lowered herself off of the counter. She felt bitter and ashamed she had even attempted this. The words repeated themselves in her head, mocking her. "_Sold._" She never expected this, never planned on anyone else being interested in buying anything from this rinky-dink shack. She only just heard the man utter a few remaining words as she walked to the door.

"Would you like anything else, dearie?" He called behind the counter, hoping she would stay a bit longer.

"No...no thanks..." The last word seemed to slip out by accident as she pushed herself out of the store and back onto the sidewalk, staring sulkily at the ground. That hockey helmet she had been saving up _so_ long for; she got hit by a freaking car for Pete's sake! Yet, Jamie couldn't muster up the anger to punch something, she felt something different this time. A type of emotion that she hadn't experienced before. Grief? Disappointment? Anguish? The unsettling in her stomach seemed to match all three and then some. Was this what it felt like to grow up? To have to feel like there's a heavy chain pulling on your stomach and heart constantly? Jamie was experienced at feeling aches and bruises from all of her scuffles in the schoolyard, but this time it wasn't something she could bare her teeth and grin against; she not only let Anton down, but herself.

"Screw this." The ox-girl mumbled, admitting defeat. She was in no mood to deal with anything else today. Not once before had she felt like wanting to hit something than she did now. But the only person she wanted to hit was herself. She let in these false promises of whatever kind of relationship she could forge with this boy. How could it ever work out? She was a bully, he was probably too terrified to even get remotely close to her. It was a stupid fantasy concocted by her hormone-fueled imagination. She inwardly hated herself for letting a boy make her go through all of this trouble just to come out looking like a fool. "Screw all of it!" She yelled louder, more resilient. "He can fend for himself, why should I do anything for him? If he's too wimpy to defend himself, that should be his problem, not mine!"

"Hey uhh, Jamie. Who ya talkin' to?" A rather dim sounding voice came from behind her. Jamie could recognize his voice anywhere, and he was one of the last people she wanted to see right now.

"No one, Rocky." The orange fuzzed puppet had walked up from behind her as she was chastising herself and seemed to just notice her. Rocky worked at Elmore Junior High, which was how he was so well known by the students and staff. He took his job as janitor seriously seeing as how it was his only source of income and a means of getting out of his parents' house. The faculty didn't like him as much as the students, but he still enjoyed the company and thought of sharing his "wisdom" with the growing young minds in the school.

"Oh, okay. You just sitting here then?"

"Yes Rocky, I am!" She spat out, turning to the man-child. Her eyes lowered quickly to the object held underneath his arm, it was the hockey helmet she was looking for! Rocky had bought the helmet! Jamie didn't wait for the Gods of fate to condemn her again, she had to take this opportunity now. "Gimme that helmet, Rocky! Now!" The janitor seemed taken aback by the sudden aggressiveness, but he was used to it from Jamie, who had taken his lunch money many a time before. Still, he refused.

"Can't do that Jamie, I paid good money for this. Money I actually earned!" Jamie was getting impatient now. She wouldn't be denied her goal, not again!

"Come on, Rocky! What do you even need a hockey helmet for anyway? Your head is too big for the dang thing!"

"Oh, it's not for me, I'm working on this Halloween decoration of this serial killer and this helmet just looked perfect for it! I got just about everything set up for it an-"

"A freaking HALLOWEEN DECORATION! Halloween isn't for another 6 months, you idiot! Why in the HELL are you going out of your way for some shawdy piece of crap no one will be afraid of, let alone even care about? I've been working my butt off for that helmet for weeks now, I will NOT let you get between me and that helmet, Rocky! I'm going to shave your head, tie you to a rock, and drop you in the nearest lake!" Jamie exploded. All that anger pent up in her little frame burst out in the form of a onslaught of threats and shouting. Rocky was unphased by her fit but nevertheless wanted to calm her down.

"Jamie, Jamie! Come on, what are you crying for?"

"I'm not crying you numskull! I'm...I'm..." Jamie wiped her eyes and sure enough, tears were falling down her face as she began to sob in between her yelling. "Shut up! Just shut up leave me alone!" She turned her back to Rocky and proceeded to walk away.

"It's about Anton, isn't it?" He called, stopping the girl in her tracks like she had just stepped in cement. Jamie turned and began a slow, threatening march toward the orange muppet.

"I swear to God if you tell ANYONE, I'll-!"

"Jamie, I've been through enough heartache to understand what you're going through right now. You're feeling confused? Lost? Misguided? You feel like your body is all jelly and mud and other stuff that doesn't support well. It's all apart of growing up into an adult, what you're going through is natural."

"Right, like I need a lesson on the birds and the bees from a furry manchild."Rocky laughed.

"Hey, I may be just a school janitor who still lives with his parents even though he's well way past his years of social acceptance, I know more than a thing or two about relationships and how they work. In fact, word around the grapevine is Anton might have his eye out for you, Jamie." The ox-girl had to hide her blushed face, lest she give up what little pride she had left in herself. "Listen, I'm not one to get in the way of young love, so I'll tell you what: I'm just gonna give you this helmet. Turns out I prefer a football helmet anyway." If Jamie saw the look on her face, she would understand why Rocky looked so shocked as she ran up and lifted the hockey helmet out of his arms.

"Thanks Rocky. You know, because of this, I won't be stealin' your lunch money from now on!" Jamie said, her signature grin beaming on her face, wider than ever. She turned and made a break for home, sprinting as fast as her tired legs could carry her.

"Hey, thanks Jamie!" Rocky called out. "Maybe now I can afford to pay for rent now!"

...

This would be the first time in Jamie's life she was happy she had come to school on time. Leaning on a row of lockers, she peered down the hall to a scene which brought her a bit of happiness she never experienced before. Earlier that morning, she had sneaked into the school and hid the hockey helmet inside of Anton's locker with a small note attached to it.

"_From a close friend."_ She had written, it wasn't anything fancy as she wasn't exactly a poet, but she felt a straightforward message would help her chances at advancing their friendship to something more hopefully someday. And from the look of Anton's smiling face wearing his new gift; showing it around to his circle of friends, Jamie's chances were pretty good at this point. She smiled warmly to herself before a nagging thought broke her blissfulness.

"Wait, something doesn't feel right. Like there was something I needed to do." The thundering boom of footsteps behind her shook her thoughts clear and sent her body off the ground a few inches with each crash. A large shadow overcame her as she seemed to recall exactly what she had forgotten at that instant.

"Jamie! You forgot my note to get out of detention with Ms. Simian! Not only do I have detention for the next week, but I still have to take the algebra test!" Tina roared in a fit of anger. Jamie turned and looked up at her gigantic friend, who glared back with her giant eyes. The ox-girl breathed out a sigh and walked past her. Romance will have to wait. Right now, Jamie must do what she does best...

"Just leave it to me, Tina. I'll getcha out of it in no time."

...Meddling.


End file.
